Scary.

I had a baaad dream last night. And I haven't been watching scary movies or anything. Scary dreams leave me with that weird emotional hang-over like scary movies do. I judge a scary movie on how long that hang-over lasts. Top five scary movies according to Amelia in no reasonable order:

5. Twilight Zone:The Movie. My sister Jen was having a sleep over for her birthday. They were in the TV room in sleeping bags and decided to watch this movie. She told me to go and get her and her guests stuff from the kitchen, I don't know, chips or something. I did and came back. On screen two men were talking about something. I handed the stuff over and when I turned back around a guy in the driver's seat asked his passenger if he wanted to see something really scary. He hid his face and then turned back to his friend as a hideous monster and ate him. I was so unprepared for it I almost soiled myself. I had to sleep with my Dad that night and even then I kept thinking he was going to turn over at any moment and say, "You wanna see something really scary?" The next day I avoided people. I replayed it in my head in a million different scenarios. My mom handing me a piece of bread, my sister passing me in the hallway, friends walking with me to school. Each ended with them asking me the question before turning in to monsters. I came around the corner of our house a few days later and my Dad had a running chain saw in his hands. When he just went to a tree and began to saw some limbs I knew I was going to be fine.

4.Seven. (Spoiler alert: I tell the ending but if you haven't seen it already, wtf??) I saw it with my first husband the first night it came out. We heard some DJs talk highly about it on the radio. They mentioned it was intense but I think they underplayed it. I was a mess through the whole thing. I almost cried when they open that room with the thousands of little scented trees and when Brad opens the box and finds her head and then shoots Keiser Sose I was shaking like a crack fiend. Devin and I apologized to each other over and over for not finding out more about the movie before we went so we would have been better prepared. I had nightmares for days. I liked it the second, third and forth times I saw it, though.

3.The Descent. Brett and I went and saw this together. It's hard to go and get a sitter and plan a night you're both free and then go to a little old theater in Murray and see a movie that makes you want to go home and sit in the shower, rock back and forth and cry. I have never loved a movie I hated so, so very much. I want to tell everyone to see it so we can talk about how wonderfully horrifying and awful it was. If you love scary movies, it's one to watch. If you don't? Dont.

2.Signs. I know everyone hated this movie. I know that people wanted it to be something it wasn't. I know there are aliens at the end that no one wanted to get a good look at. I do not care. I loved this movie. I saw it with my Mom and when we came out of the theater I was going over it and over it in my head. "Swing away, and he was a batter and could only...and the waters all over the house and the thing with the breathing and they were things that made them weird but the mom knew it was for a reason and in the end saved their lives and..." I was shaking uncontrollably while I smoked what seemed like eleven camel lights back to back outside the theater to calm my nerves.

1.Nightmare on Elm Street. I saw this in the theater. Do the math and you will see I was WAY underage. I'd had a dream months before the film came out about a boy in a wheel chair. He was in an old school late at night. He was wheeling down a long hallway that came to a T. He was looking for his family that were there for teacher conferences. As he wheeled along three cuts appeared on his back as if slashed by three knives at once. The cuts just appeared and began to pour blood. He fell forward in his chair. It began to wheel its self down the hallway faster and faster until a locker opened up in front of him, unseen hands shoved his body and the wheelchair into the locker and slammed it shut. Then three people that I knew were the boy's family, Mom Dad and sibling, came around the corner talking about how well the boy was dong in school after the accident. Mom and Dad then received the same three slashes on their backs and fell to the floor in a heap. My minds eye zoomed in on the last survivor and they mouthed the words, I'm next. Then I woke myself right up. So when I saw a preview for a movie where school kids get cut up by a guy from their dreams that has a handfull of blades, I had to go see it to be sure this guy wasn't real and I wasn't next.

Have a Happy Halloween and good luck renting one or all of the above.

The Literally Illiterate.

I love KSL.com. I found my dog there, Nigel Pugmann. I am constantly looking for things I can use for the house, like flooring, tiles, a way to eradicate dog hair. What I come across instead are examples of people's extreme illiteracy. There was a perfectly hilarious ad I came across months ago that sadly I didn't copy and save, but thankfully there is a wealth. Here are a few good ones I came across today.

NICE ANTIQUE SIDE BOARD. Ogden, Ut.

SIDE BOARD IS 48 INCHERS IN LENGHT
38 INCHERS HI AND 20 INCHERS WID
PLEASE CALL JACK AT 334 6287 PLEASE
CALL BEFORE 7 PM. Contact: Joann.

How many inchers in a foot, Joann?

TAKE ME HOME FREE
vally, UT 84763 - Oct 21, 2008
i am giving away my three english bulldog puppies out to good homes due to our transfered out of the state you will only pay for there shipping cost. contact roselin_lucas4@yahoo.com

How does one ship a puppy, exactly?

This next one is just plain confusing. I don't know whether to call and pick up the "little guy" or laugh at it's expense.

Frozen Kitten Deserves a Good Home
Heber city, UT 84032 - Oct 20, 2008
This little guy is about 5-6 weeks old. I found him at the back door of the restaurant where I work about 10 days ago. It had been one of the coldest nights we had, back when the snow was here. I don't know where his mother is or how he got to where he was. When I picked him up, he stayed in the same position, he was so cold. He wouldn't open his eyes and just kept doing the same cry over and over. After about 2 hours, he was finally warmed up and very wobbly. You could feel every bone in his body. For being so young, he has really had a rough start in life. The tip of one of his ears had been bitten off and the end of his tail is also bent from a break. It took a week for him to quit growling every time we fed him, he was so starved. I am happy to say that he has gained a lot of weight and no longer growls to protect his food. He is just the sweetest thing and loves to be with people. I really want him to have a good home with someone who can spend some time with him. I introduced him to my neighbor and her cat and he freaked out at the older cat. It may have been another cat that attacked him in the first place, so I don't know how he will do with other cats. My shi tzu licks his face constantly and he loves that. Please don't be offended if I ask about what kind of home you can provide, I just want to know he will be safe. Please call, he is the perfect age for enjoying all the kitten time out of him. He is litter box trained.

Awwwwww. I want to enjoy all the kitten time out of him...

$14000
Fisher wood burning stove
moroni, UT 84646 - Oct 21, 2008
Mr. Toone placed an add for a fisher wood burning stove and I told him to consider it sold I dont have your number please call call me with your number. or relist it.

The best part is that this has been placed as a classified ad. If Mr Toone was selling a stove he would not be likely to look through other wood burning stove ads now would he? Sorry you jacked the buy. Der.

Dont buy from the Herriman lady
Herriman, UT 84096 - Oct 21, 2008
I had planned to buy an outfit from her and bought all of the family matching outfits. She had a outfit it was a bee 0 to 6 mo she said she would save it for me. I called her to get it and she said she was in Provo, and that I can come pick it up from her. When I got there she said she sold it. I drove 45 min from my house, very unprofessional. I also went to her house prior and left my sons hate and baby blanket, she refuse to give it back. A lot of the costumes were very dirty and smelled of mold. There are a lot of other adds on here with nice honest people.

I am glad that after 45 whole minutes of unprofessional driving she still got there OK. But it is unfortunate that once she got there the Herriman Lady refuse to give her back her son's hate.

This may become a weekly thing. The KSL "Add" Spotlight. Vote yay or nay, all in favor say I.

I want to win a handbag.

Go to this site if you want to enter, too!  If I post this link I get 25 more entries automatically.  It should be a pretty cool site.  http://www.handbagplanet.com