Crow.

I'm eating it. I am actually working a lot this fall/winter. There are a slew of these great spots being written by Jeff at Reister for Pacificorps. We shot these amazing Linemen. (Power line workers.) I was told that the prettier my assistant and I could make ourselves the better they would co-operate. That they are real men and won't like wearing make-up. I'm expecting trouble. Nope. These men are...amazing. They are all laughing at one another and threatening to post pictures on the internet but it's all in love. They all mostly did it for kids and grandkids, so they could see them on TV. Awww. They all thanked me and one guy actually thanked me for talking to him like I would a normal person. Wha? I was honored. It's like a Fireman thanking you for your contribution to society. I seriously teared up a few times. One single dad shared his story with me about raising his girls and I bawled like a baby. His girls are AMAZING by the by, he showed me pictures. Movie star beautiful these two! His good friend was in the chair after him and told me when we were alone that he really was an amazing father and did a bang up job with his girls and got misty. Another guy told me their job was the coolest job in the world even though people die all the time doing it. He said there can be thirty teams all out with their spotlights shining up the poles while the snow comes down. He said no one else sees this and it's stunningly beautiful and makes it worth every minute. The only thing I can compare it to is my stringing Christmas lights in a snowstorm for a Check City shoot with Ryan Little and Tyler Measom. No lives were saved in my helping advertise for 26% interest plus fees on your emergency cash advance. And I was on a ladder, not a 75 foot pole.

That was day one. Day two was a slew of vignettes. Blenders, toasters, shovel phones. Yep, shovel phones. Everyone would walk past and then back up and look at me taping phones to shovels and post hole diggers. Then scratch their heads. "Call before you dig", I'd say and they'd go, "Oh. Got it!" The next one involves a ninja. I am dying to make and/or buy a ninja outfit! Jeff said they have 9 more coming up. Nine. N.I.N.E. And I'm shooting for Mountain America this week. I am thinking that the timing couldn't be better. I will hopefully have a good chunk of our debt erased by February. Because I believe in divine planning, I will either be Pregnant next year or unemployed. Either way I will be prepared. I hope and pray it's the former. I love my job. LOVE my job. Love it!! It completes me.

The only bad thing about working so much is that this house is going to be a giant mess for much longer than anticipated. And I will miss Aidan's 9th birthday. (I was in charge of all the other 8 so I don't feel too badly...) And that we will have Thanksgiving at Chuck O' Rama. No, really we will, I am not cooking in a kitchen without a floor. I guess that last one is not so bad, I like Chuck O Rama. So I may go blog M.I.A. for a while. I should wish you to Have a Happy Turkey Day and Merry Christmas and possibly I should wish you a Happy New Year as well. Martin Luther King Jr Day? I'm pushing it...

Everything and Nothing

This time of year is just dismal. I stop working. The weather changes. I get fat. I am left to actually spend time in my house and with my kids. Neither of which I'm used to. Both seem to be beyond repair.

Don't get me wrong, I feel like I have a lot of blessings. I can see God's hand in my life helping things along in spite of me. I now have good friends and a great husband and a fun job and a house. But I am still left wondering sometimes, when does my life begin? When will I get to start having many babies and stay at home and walk my kids to school before I sit down with a Sarah Lee pound cake and watch my programs? When will I put my kids down for a nap, wrap up in a blanket in front of a fire nursing a fat baby reading Twilight for an hour while dreamily thinking about being in love with a Vampire all wistfully full of longing and romance? Then make dinner while the kids play Xbox. Put my kids to bed and rub Brett's shoulders while we watch Leno. My biggest concern being which pictures I should use for our Christmas cards, the ones of us in reindeer sweaters or where we're all in white...

I always wanted a normal life. I only wanted a normal life. So I used to lie. A lot. About stupid stuff. I told my friends I was in a dance troupe, that I took violin lessons. I so deeply wished my Mom didn't work for the National Enquirer, General Hospital, A Country Radio Station. I wish she didn't wear cut off short shorts, flirt with men, miss all the landmark occasions in my life. I wished my Dad would step up and call her out. Leave her, tell her no. I wished she didn't spend money we didn't have. Pay her mother's huge phone bills. Have huge phone bills. I vowed I would never be like that.

But I am forced to see how I am just like my mother. I work a job that takes me away from my kids. Makes me miss important events. A job that is kind of embarrassing for my children in it's frivolity. I have a house that has hundreds of incomplete projects. My kids go to school in clothes that are too small for them, or the wrong season. They need haircuts and smell bad. I spend money I don't have and assume irresponsibly that I can just Ebay to make extra cash. Or start selling dresses or make kids clothes or jewelry or open a business or patent a million dollar invention or write a screenplay. My mother is in her mid sixties and says she isn't worried about retirement because she will just write a best selling novel. She can't decide if it should be about her sex life or helping people die or being a lesbian or...

Can I still dream? That after this Saturday when we all finally get sealed in the Temple I will magically fix this house and make a million dollars and get pregnant and live forever in perfect, normal bliss? Or is that just the equivalent of lying about being on a swim team? I think what will really happen is that I will have a great day and be thankful for my family and we will all feel really great. And a great weight will be lifted off my shoulders. And then Bella will have had a long morning and get crabby and need a nap, so Brett and I will kiss everyone we love goodbye and come home. We will then sit on the couch on his and her's laptops while we ignore the overwhelming amount of things around the house we don't have the ability or means to do while I worry endlessly how I will pay my minimum amounts due November through February. And when my real life will begin.

Bentz Family Vacation Do-Over Contest

So I know I'm not a Clark Family member with a blog readership of over six hundred but for those few of you that do read, please go to www.parentingextras.com/familyroadtrip/ and vote for the Bentz Family. Brett's sister is Tiffany Bentz and their dear family had a way worse time on our family trip then I blogged about previously. I was only miserable and hot at Sea World. They were miserable and hot and had barfing kids. Kids that barfed on their DVD player. Kids that barfed up their Anti-Biotics for their painful ear infection. Kids that decided they would just not take meds no matter what. I feel for them, they SO deserve a do-over! I hope they get it. I don't know how they mantained their sunny cheerful attitudes. VOTE VOTE VOTE! And thank you for your support.