Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Latest Issues.

So what happened to the last three posts you may be asking yourself?  I deleted them about an hour ago.   A month ago I went through and I took care of a post and some comments I left behind, Sopranos style.  I do this.  I kill my darlings.  Why?  Because I have raging insecurity when it comes to blogging about myself.  I write stuff and then later in a weird moment I decide people will think I sound smug, or full of myself or self obsessed or self righteous.  I am afraid I am about to anger/frustrate/offend someone I can not see.  So I stick to reading a lot and saying little.  Out of fear.

I think fear is self obsessive, self indulgent and smug.  Being afraid of what people will think and trying to control it is futile.  Besides, even if I have ten people I can't see judging me for the things I say "wrong" I can count at least three people I now consider friends that I have met through this blog.  And those people are a part of my day now and I really enjoy them and they don't seem to be easily offended.  Which is a great trait in a friend.

And really, I like blogs about people.  I read one tonight about a girl who lives in NYC and is a Mormon actress.  Her blog was like, momoninmanhattan.blogspot.com  I think.  And she is just lovely and she talks about herself and the people she works with but I never thought she should just shut up and stop talking about herself!  Isn't that the point of a personal blog?  

I think it may be interesting to people who know and don't know me to hear about my job, about the fights I get into or out of, teehee, and if I am acting a little full of myself or sound a little self interested couldn't someone big just forgive me that little foible?  Sure they could.  Right?  I dunno.  But I am awfully tired of trying to keep my trap shut all the time just out of fear.  Aren't you?

7 comments:

The Bakers said...

Aw, the Old Navy one was one of my favorites. I wish I could have that kind of courage in that kind of situation. Mostly I just think those thoughts and then want to punch them in the faces.

The Bakers said...

And what I meant to say was that I think a blog should be about whatever you want it to be about with little disregard for who may or may not read it. And that is my opinion...

Hailey said...

Plus, you're funny. And that's all that matters to me.

In.A.Nutshell said...

aloha blog friend. my two cents: a blog is your own space. you bought it fair and square (well, it's free, but you know what i mean) and you can say whatever you want about whomever/whatever/wherever you want. that's what a blog is for.

my husband and i are avid readers of your blog. it's part of our bonding time. he oft asks, "has the divorced lady posted?" (that's his name for you, seeing as matt's friend's wife just seems too long to say)

so BLOG ON ! (and i too think you're hilarious)

Lisa said...

I agree. Funny goes a long way.

People you want to be friends with aren't easily offended.

Shaharac said...

Amelia - I read your blog a couple weeks ago, and you are such a great writer. It's a totally fun read. And, I really liked the Old Navy story. Hello - how often does one get to see totally psycho crazy people calling someone out! And, the best part - you kept your cool. Anyway - I hope you don't mind that I'm spying on you - it feels a little creepy - but hey now you know.

Jennifer Latimer said...

you could tell me anything and I wouldn't judge you, unless you said you like Michael Kors...then we couldn't be friends.