Saturday, August 23, 2008

I am just not cool.

Here is a list of things that are or were huge and I will never be into, thus making me not cool.  

1.  Twilight.  Why-It was written for teens.  And female Americans have lost their collective minds over it.  Sigh.  
2.  The Lord of the Rings.  Why-It's full of stupid contrived words.  I couldn't make it three minutes into the film with all that narration.  Blah, Blah,Blah.  And when she stops talking...Hobbits.
3. Star Wars.  Why-I liked the first two.  Isn't that enough?  And more made up stupid words, like Padiwan.  What is that?
4. Pretty Woman.  Why-The scene where people are NOT nice to her in the store but then she gets to go back and tell them "Big Mistake"?  Why do people STILL talk about that scene?  And-She's a whore and she gets the handsome rich guy in the end!?!
5.  Julia Roberts.  Why-See #4.
6.  Harry Potter.  Why-Because so many people could not stop talking about it for so long.  And again, it's meant for kids!
7.  Molly Ringwald.  Why-She is getting good reviews again for this new show she's on.  I watched a scene.  She sucked THEN and she sucks NOW!  Did you buy her as the prom queen in Breakfast Club?  
8.  Tom Cruise.  Why-I was right all along!  He is weird and I always knew it.  All my friends loved him but it will never, ever happen for me.  Even if this Hitler movie fixes his image.
9.  Jennifer Aniston.  Why-She seems nice but she dated John Mayer and she just isn't pretty.  She's not!  Nice hair and boobs don't mean you're pretty.  And-I hear first hand she's a blaizoid.
10.  The Gap Inc.  This includes Old Navy and Banana Republic.  I know it's a weird thing.  But did you know the original intent of Old Navy was to replace Kmart?  It was geared specifically to Kmart shoppers.  Banana was a cool outdoor store at one time.  Remember that?  Gap sucked all of the life out of it.  Like a vampire from a stupid teen novel.

That's my list, and you don't have to agree with me.  It's just one gal's opinion.


Jewels said...

You are my favorite. Sadly, I'm a victim of #1. I have been lost in the sea of 13 year-old crazies that love these books. I'm ashamed, but I do love them. This list totally made me laugh! When are we getting together to sew?? I've been sewing like a banshee lately. All hunched over my machine like a troll. Lets do it together so we can both look like hobbits.

The Bakers said...

You crack me up. 'Nuf said.

Shawn said...

Oh my gosh!!! We are twins of a different mother!! I am with you on almost EVERY THING!!
Especially Julia Roberts---A person could live in those nostrils and talk about no talent..geeez!
Can't stand Tom Cruise---yuck....and never thought that Jennifer Aniston was pretty either!

As for those silly vampire books---puhleeese....gag me...
You ARE cool in my book! :)