Monday, April 5, 2010

I should have known.

Since nothing can ever be easy, I should have known. The meds have stopped doing anything and I am back about where I started. I now can see exactly how this is going to go. I will take some meds, I will feel awesome until my body acclimates to the drugs and then I will feel myself slide back to where I was, almost. I will do this for a few months to get the hormone levels right. I do find I have a teensy bit more energy but I am not feeling like I did the first three or four days on the meds. I probably won't feel great all the time like that, but I won't feel back to the way I did entirely either. I will, after a roller coaster of emotion that won't be real, find myself a spot somewhere in the middle of awesome and totally in the toilet. So on the one hand I'm grateful there will be progression but on the other hand I have seen what it would be like to live in a total state of nirvanna and I won't get to have that as my every day reality. Do some people get to live like that every day? Do they know how lucky they are??

But I can't feel sorry for myself. I mean I *can* but I will be mad at myself if I do. It's not like I have cancer. At least so far. I had two moles come back iffy and they are being "watched". I told Brett that would figure. He said it would be the icing on my recent poop cake. I said I should just get Cancer, the Ebola virus, and pregnant with a Downs baby. He said that the baby part would be fine, since they are really sweet kids. I had to agree, that part would not be so bad. Especially since he agreed he would be the one to stay home and take care of it.


Mrs. Organic said...

Look into Cytomel for until the meds really kick in. You won't feel the full effect of levothyroxine until you're about 6 wks into it. And then they'll need another blood draw to confirm that it's really doing enough. Hang in there, the equilibrium will come.

I promise.

Amelia Merritt said...

Thanks! I needed to hear that. I spend every night on Google trying to get info and THIS is the kind of stuff that is NOT out there.

sue-donym said...

Hang in there sweetie.

And keep friends with people who know stuff. They're the best.

Lisa said...

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.

stef j. said...

stupid hormones.