WTH

So I woke up from a dream last night that was so disturbing I can't sleep tonight.  That and being sick and being WAY over my head in every aspect of my life, I now can not enjoy the one thing that never failed me.  Sleep.  I'm a world class sleeper.  I slept through labor.  I can sleep through anything.

But last night I could not get to sleep.  So I took some ten types of cold meds and then I worked at it...hard.   After about an hour I dreamed that I was on set and in charge of a mentally challenged actor.  Not a biggie, but in this dream the guy was my daughter's biological dad's brother.  Such a brother does not actually exist.  So this is my mind's version of what his brother with Down's would look like.  And then, because Art should always deal with nonsensical department tasks someone also put me in charge of a series of big camera moves.  I guess they were impressed with the manner in which I sequestered the talent.  So I'm handling it all well until we have a multi camera move.  I pace it out and then que the B camera team to begin a big steady-cam move when I hear screaming.  I walk to a room where I find Uma Thurman lying on the floor.  And I ask what's going on and I'm told that something is really wrong.  And I say, "Yeah!  You are skin and bones, girl..."  And I say it the chiding way I say it to my friends that are itty-bitty things, only she was a literal skeleton without skin.  And I then notice she is pregnant.  She's so thin I can see every vessel and contour of the baby and it's little paper thin sac.  A woman by her hips moves a stethoscope aside and declares, "The baby isn't breathing."  And the woman says she will go and call an ambulance.  And she hands me a knife and tells me to cut her sac open along the scar line she shows me and then says, "And cut off that little doohickey right there."  But she says it all casual like, as if telling me to burn off that ugly mole.  So I am confused as to whether or not this order is life threatening to Uma or the baby.  Can this order just take a pass?  I can see the scar line I need to follow to make the incision but I can not seem to work the knife thing she handed me and I have no idea what pesky little doohickey I am to remove and I don't know if she will come back.  I tell everyone to start looking through all of the drawers for a proper scalpel and I try like hell to get the weird knife in my hand to function.  And then this is where I stop the dream.  I wake up and it's only Midnight.

That night was followed by a day that was nearly as disturbing.  I find out that I have moved my family onto a block that is a freaking petrie dish of festering psychological disorder.   So I'm scared to death that my dreams will get worse tonight.  And I can not imagine a worse dream.  That last dream covered all waking demons up to and including,  

1.  My Daughter's Biological Father

2.  Job Stress

3.  Dead Babies

4.  Insecurity/ Incompetence

5.  Eating Disorders

6.  Miscommunication

7.  Responsibility

8.  Mental Retardation 

9.  Uma Thurman

10. Failure

Afraid I will dream that my whole family is eaten by cannibals, I'm up watching Tila Tequila at 4am.  And considering the alternative, it's not too bad.